


The Book

by pogch4mp



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Robots, google's name is blue, it's not technically gay yet dont worry its coming, just some fluffy fluff so far, kind of college AU but not really, only bings in college, some sibling teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22481662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pogch4mp/pseuds/pogch4mp
Summary: Blue has been trying to get this special-edition book since he was told he'd need it for a project. After 2 weeks, he gets irritated enough to track the owner down.
Relationships: Bing/Google, Bingiplier/Googleplier
Comments: 17
Kudos: 22





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> “you’re overdue on this book and I want it so I'm tracking you down”

“Sorry Blue, it’s still out,” 

Blue groaned and thumped his head on the front desk. He’d been trying to get this book for two weeks. Maybe if it were a book that many people wanted and were checking out in quick succession, he’d understand. He’d still be mad, of course, but he’d understand. However, firstly, it was a very niche book on the topic of engineering, so he doubted that many people- besides himself- would find it interesting. (Granted, he didn’t find it overly interesting, either. He needed it for a job) And secondly, the book had been checked-out the entire time by the _same person and **they were overdue.**_ He swore if he ever had a word with this person- 

He got an idea. 

“Hey, what’s their name?” He asked the librarian. 

She looked up. “Huh?” 

“The person who has the book, what’s their name?” He asked again. 

“I don’t think I’d be allowed to tell you that,” She replied. 

“Yeah well I don’t think you’d be allowed to break the dinosaur statue in Children’s either,” Blue was turning to blackmail. This was serious business. “We all have secrets, huh?” 

The two of them stared at each other for a moment before she caved and started typing something on her computer. 

“One Bingham Voltan. College student at Tech,” 

Blue nodded and walked out the door. 

Bing Voltan. Tech student. 

Blue’d gone to Tech, but it was about two years ago. Though this Bing could be the same age as him as he’d graduated about three years early. And since this person had also checked out the engineering book... 

He sent a quick email to his old Materials Engineering professor asking him if he taught a Bing Voltan. She said she did. Blue asked when their classes were and, after assuring his professor he wasn’t a stalker and was just trying to get a library book, she told him. 

Bingo. 

Blue stood outside the Materials Engineering classroom at 2:55 that Thursday, probably looking rather suspicious. As soon as the first student exited- a boy with a baggy sweatshirt and a satchel that looked ready to burst- Blue got his attention. 

“Excuse me, is there a Bing Voltan in your class?” He asked. 

Sweatshirt raised an eyebrow. “Yeah,” He said. “You lookin’ for him?” 

“Yes,” 

“Alright. Well, keep an eye out for sunglasses,” 

Blue was about to ask what he meant but Sweatshirt walked away. Blue waited as a stream of students walked out of the door. Blue was sure he’d missed something when he chanced a look in the class. Two students were talking to the professor and one was still stuffing things into their book bag. When they turned, Blue spotted a pair of strange, orange circular sunglasses resting in their hair. 

Target acquired. 

Blue would’ve walked inside to meet them- him?- but by the time he’d turned to get his bag, Sunglasses was hurrying out of the classroom. He was jogging down the hall before Blue got a chance to stop him. Blue caught up to him and tapped his shoulder. Sunglasses slowed to a walk and turned to him. 

“What’s up?” He asked. 

Blue straightened his glasses, slightly askew after running down the hallway. It was possibly more physical exertion than he got in a week. He got his first real look at the suspect. Sunglasses was taller than him by at least a head and more athletic than he could ever be. He was darker, too- though Blue was about as pale as they came- and littered with freckles. He was wearing a plain black tank top in the middle of October along with a pair of worn jeans, burnt orange high-tops that looked like they were on the verge of falling apart, and at least half a dozen slap bracelets. His bookbag was a cheap one and had what seemed to be a skateboard sticking out of the laptop pocket. His eyes were a bright amber, almost a gold. Blue took his hand off his shoulder. 

“Are you Bing Voltan?” Blue asked. 

“Yep. Who’re you?” Bing asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. 

“Unimportant. You borrowed a book from the Cedar Library and are overdue. I happen to need that book,” Blue wasn’t sure if Bing was speed walking or if the jock’s legs were just longer but Blue found himself having to walk at a brisk pace to keep up. 

Bing gave him a confused look. “Nah, dude, I return all my library books. Why don’cha just find it online?” 

Blue rolled his eyes as if that were the stupidest question he’d ever heard. “The book in your possession happens to be the only one with original author notes that isn’t worth over a hundred dollars. Popular Mechanics and Robotics of the Twenty-First Century by Yurochka Peskov ring any bells?” 

Bing stopped short and Blue took the opportunity to catch his breath. Jesus Christ, he was out of shape. 

“No way,” Bing said. “I totally didn’t return that, you’re right,” 

Blue looked at him. “I know I am,” 

“Aw, dude, I’m sorry. It’s up in my apartment. I can give it to you,” Bing offered. 

“No. You have to return it to the library, then I can borrow it,” 

“Oh, yeah,” Bing said blankly. “Well, I’ll go get it. I guess I’ll meet you at Cedar, Glasses?” 

“My name is Blue Watson, and, frankly, I don’t quite trust you actually get it. I’ll be coming with you,” 

Blue was used to people being affronted by his blatant honesty, but instead, Bing laughed. 

“Alright, Blue Watson. I guess we’ll walk then,” 

Blue furrowed his brow. “What was the alternative?” 

Bing nodded to his bookbag. “I was gonna use my board. But if you wanna take the long way...” 

“I would prefer to, yes,” 

Bing snickered. “Loosen up a bit, man,” He said under his breath. He opened the door outside for Blue as he flicked his sunglasses down. He closed the door behind him and pointed indiscernibly forward. “This way,” 

Bing’s apartment wasn’t far from the campus, maybe 5 blocks. Bing took his keys out of his back pocket and tossed them between his hands. 

“I’ll just pop in, wait out here,” He said, unlocking his door. 

“That was the plan,” Blue said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Right,” Bing said, walking inside and pushing the door behind him. It didn’t close and instead swung back open all the way and Blue caught Bing walking into a different room. 

Well, Blue couldn’t not look inside. 

The first thing he wondered was how it was so dark when it was so bright outside until he noticed scraggly comforters taped over every window. It looked more or less like a regular living room. For someone on a limited budget anyways. Blue saw the silhouette of a couch and two upturned milk crates in front of it that he assumed was the coffee table. It was pretty messy, wrappers, cans, and dishes strewn about, but before Blue could linger on that much longer, he noticed something in the dark. A tall shadow in the corner. It kind of looked like- 

Bing came out of the side room and Blue moved back to where he was standing so Bing wouldn’t catch him peeking. Bing wasn’t facing him anyways; he was pushing the book into his backpack. He turned forward and, weirdly quickly, Blue thought, came outside and closed the door. 

“Objective one: a-complete!” He said, pumping his fist. Blue rolled his eyes. They started down the half-mile to the library. 

“So how long’ve you been waiting for this book?” Bing asked along the way. 

“What?” Blue replied. 

“Well, I’ve had it about half a month, and, I mean, tracking me down like some book cop wasn’t your first resort, right?” Bing joked. Then he turned. “Right?” 

“Approximately two weeks. And no,” 

“Are ya’ gonna sell it?” 

“What? Why would I do that?” 

“You said it was worth, like, a good hundred bucks, yeah? I mean, why not?” 

“Well, first, it is library property, that would be illegal. Second, I happen to need it. Why didn’t you sell it?” 

“I dinnit know it was worth anything,” Bing said. “I just needed it for work,” 

Blue nodded. “I happen to need it for the same reason. I have no interests in money,” 

“Why do you talk like that?” Bing asked abruptly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Yanno. All fancy and stuff. Like a prince or a really snooty manager. Like, do you even use conjunctions?” 

Blue paused. “Yes. I have used a few whilst talking to you, I’m sure,” 

“Yeah, it was... it was a joke. But seriously, why so stuffy?” 

“Stuffy?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Well, perhaps I’m simply more intelligent than you,” 

“Smart people use slang. Tony Stark doesn’t talk like you,” 

Blue sighed. “People take you more seriously when you speak more precise. I tend to impress people with how I speak. You do not,” 

“Okay, sure, but you still don’t have to sound like you’re, like, eighty years old. You look like you’re younger than me,” 

“I’m twenty-two,” 

“Oh. You’re just short,” 

“No, you’re tall,” 

“Anyways,” Bing continued, turning a corner. “Point is; chill out. Have some fun, dude,” 

“Don’t call me dude,” 

“Alright, bro,” Bing smiled. 

“Definitely worse,” 

Bing laughed. The two eventually fell into silence. 

“Oh, hey, it’s Charlie’s,” Bing said, passing a collection of restaurants. Blue looked at him. 

“Will I ever know what you are talking about?” 

“You know,” Bing said, pointing at a building across from them titled Charred Charlie’s Pizza. “the pizza place,” 

“I do not know. I’ve never been,” 

“For serious?” 

“...Yes, ‘for serious,’” 

“Tch, your life sucks, man,” 

“Gee, thanks,” 

There was another, longer silence as they walked through the city. 

“Hey,” Bing spoke up as they were waiting for the crosswalk that would take them directly to the library. “I’m sorry about the book. For real,” 

“Yes, you set me back rather far,” Blue hummed. Bing nodded. 

“Yeah. I hope I didn’t get you in trouble or anything,” 

“No, you did not. My ‘superiors’ happen to need me,” 

“Good,” Bing said. They walked across the street. “That’s good,” 

“Here we are,” Blue said. Bing nodded. He held the door open for Blue. Walking up to the front desk, Bing pushed the book into the return slot and Blue approached the librarian, the same that’d given Bing’s name. 

She didn’t look up from her computer. “I’d bet money we still don’t have it,” 

“How much?” Bing asked. 

She looked up, looked surprised, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess I expected something like this to happen. It’s in here?” She gestured to the return bin. Blue and Bing nodded. She picked it up, scanned the barcode, and extended her hand. Blue gave her his library card. She scanned it, typed some things, then handed him the book and card. 

“S’all yours. For a week anyway,” She said. 

Blue put the book in his messenger bag and card in his wallet. “Yes, I am well aware,” 

“I can’t help but feel that was directed at me,” Bing said. 

“Oh, it was,” Blue started out of the library. On the sidewalk outside, Bing caught his shoulder. 

“Wait,” 

Blue turned around with a quirked brow and vaguely interested gaze. 

“Look, hey, I’m seriously, like, uber-sorry about the book. Maybe I can make it up to you, like... get you lunch sometime,” Bing said, avoiding eye contact, though he was wearing sunglasses so Blue wouldn’t be able to tell. 

“Oh,” Blue replied, surprised. “Um... sure,” 

Bing smiled and looked relieved. “Cool. How about Charlie’s, noon on Saturday?” 

“Okay,” Blue said, still kind of startled. No-one'd ever asked him out somewhere before. 

“Cool. Cool, yeah,” Bing said. “See you there, then,” He pulled out his skateboard, dropped it to the ground, and kicked off in a moment, leaving Blue on the sidewalk. 

“See you,” He said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at these frickin' dorks.  
> 


	2. Pizza Not-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bing and Blue go on their totally-not-a-date.

Bing paced in his bedroom nervously that Saturday. Oh god, he did it. He asked someone out. He asked that cute nerd guy out. He’d made plenty of impulsive decisions put this one currently felt like the worst. Oh no oh god this could go wrong in a million different ways. What would he say? What would he do? What would- 

Okay, breathe, he reminded himself. Start with something simple. 

What would he wear? 

He thought back to meeting Blue. White button-down and slacks under a lightweight unzipped blue hoodie. Well, he couldn’t wear a t-shirt or anything. Did he even have anything formal? A quick raid of the closet revealed that he had an apricot-orange polo. 

Good enough. 

He didn’t have anything but jeans, that he knew. Well, he had shorts, but he supposed that that was even worse. He found a relatively clean black pair of jeans that looked almost like they weren’t jeans. 

Bing was proud of himself. 

Meanwhile, Blue was also fretting over what to wear, mostly the jacket part. His hoodie was too informal, sweaters too thin. He was trying on a sports jacket when one of his brothers popped into the door frame, yellow charm bracelets jingling against the wood. 

“Hey, Blue,” 

“Oliver,” Blue acknowledged. 

“Ooh, where’re you going?” Oliver asked, looking at the jacket. 

“Out. I got asked to lunch,” 

Oliver gasped. “You got asked on a _date_?” 

Blue froze for a moment. He cleared his throat. “It’s not a  _ date _ , Oliver. It’s simply a... social engagement,” 

“Sure. Well, who are you socially engaging with?” 

“You wouldn’t know him,” 

“Him?” Oliver grinned. 

“It is  _ not _ a date. Stop looking at me like that,” 

“Blue’s going on a date?” Said another of Blue’s brothers, Rover, wearing a red sweatshirt. He walked into the room. 

“It’s not a date!” Blue yelled. 

This piqued the interest of the last of his brothers, Clover, his celery green barrettes peeking around the door frame. Blue groaned. 

“Blue’s in denial,” Oliver explained. 

“No, I’m not,” 

“See?” Oliver said. 

“Did he say it wasn’t a date?” Hummed Rover. 

Blue rolled his eyes. “He didn’t say it was,” 

Rover walked over to the collection of jackets laid out on Blue’s bed. “Well, Blueberry-” 

“Don’t call me that-” 

“-it’s all in the subtext,” Rover picked a navy jacket that matched Blue’s slacks. “Did he look nervous?” 

“I don’t know,” Blue said, letting Rover slip the other jacket off his shoulders. 

“Fidgeting, not looking at you, stuttering, yanno, leaving real fast,” Rover listed. “If he was doing, like, any of those, he was probably asking you out,” Rover replaced the jacket and straightened it out. Blue tried to button it up and Rover slapped his hand away. 

“He wasn’t asking me out,” Blue said, a hint of doubt in his mind that he tried to ignore. 

“Okay,” Rover receded, smirking. “But is he cute?” 

Blue scoffed. “I have to go,” He said, walking away. 

“Is he?” Rover repeated. Oliver and Clover giggled. 

“Hey, wait,” Rover stood blocking the house’s exit. “You’ll do great on your not-date,” 

“I know,” Blue said. Rover slapped his arm. 

“Wrong answer,” 

“Thank you,” Blue corrected, rubbing his arm resentfully. 

“You’re welcome,” Rover said, moving out of his way. Blue walked outside. 

“You kids have fun out there!” Clover called when Blue got to the sidewalk, which caused Rover to crack up. 

“Use protection!” Rover hollered after him. Blue turned a corner and ignored their jeers to the best of his ability, navy blue sports jacket contrasting his crimson face. 

Bing was fidgeting with a slap bracelet as he waited for Blue at Charlie’s. Not the fanciest accessories, but what could you do? He always wore them. He was thinking nervously about all the ways this, uh, meeting, could go wrong. Oh no, what if he was vegan or lactose intolerant or something but they didn’t have any of the dairy-free stuff left? What if he didn’t even like pizza? What if he  _ didn’t show?  _

“Sir, are you ready to order?” 

Bing jumped and suddenly realized his skin was bright red where he’d been abusing it with a slap bracelet. He took a deep breath. 

“I’m waiting on someone,” He said to the waiter. 

The waiter nodded. “Would you like to order drinks, then?” 

“Um, one Dr. Pepper, please?” 

“Alright. I’ll bring that over in a second,” And he walked away. 

Bing sucked in another breath and sunk in the booth. Everything is fine, he thought to himself. You’re being ridiculous. Blue would’ve said something if he was uncomfortable coming here. He didn’t exactly seem like the nervous type. 

He said he was coming, so he’ll come. 

Bing saw a skinny, pale, glasses-and-suit-clad man standing in the doorway. Speak of the devil. 

Blue looked around Charlie’s. It was about what you’d expect of a pizza place, he supposed. Brick walls lined with off-white booths and polished wood tables. On the far wall was a bar with a wood laminate bar top, with a few classic bar stools in front. There was a cheap neon sign that read “Charred Charlie’s Champagne” 

Ha ha. 

“Hey, Blue!” Called someone, standing up. Then he sat down again and lowered his voice. “Uh, over here,” 

Blue turned and saw Bing sitting at one of the aforementioned booths. He nodded and walked over, sitting across from him and picking up a menu from the stack behind the napkin dispenser. Bing was wearing a pale orange polo shirt with what seemed to be a small bleach stain near the shoulder and a missing button. Blue appreciated the effort, nonetheless. 

“You brushed your hair,” He noted instead. He wasn’t wrong, Bing’s dark hickory brown hair now laid... mostly flat on his head, as opposed to the way was it was sticking up when they’d first met. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I tried to clean up a bit,” Bing smiled, glad that Blue’d noticed. 

“Funny, this doesn’t strike me as a very ornate restaurant. Granted, I don’t eat out much,” Blue admitted. 

“Unless someone else is paying, I guess,” Bing said with a raise of his eyebrows. Blue chuckled. It was the first time Bing had seen him smile, not to mention laugh. Bing took a moment to gather his thoughts before he did something stupid, like call him handsome. “No, it’s not very dressy but...” Bing paused. “I dunno, I didn’t want to look like an idiot,” He shrugged. Blue furrowed his brow, but a waiter came with Bing’s drink before he could say anything. 

“Your Dr. Pepper,” He placed the glass in front of Bing. “And then how about you?” 

“Sprite Zero, please,” Blue said. 

“Okay, one Sprite Zero. Are you all ready to order?” Bing and Blue nodded and placed their respective orders. The waiter walked away. 

“You ever had this type of pizza?” Bing asked after a brief quiet. 

“You’ll have to clarify,” 

“I dunno, man, like, oven-fired, this big-” He spread his hands to the width of a dinner plate. “-greasy pizza,” 

“I don’t believe so,” 

“You know, when I first came here, I had never eaten any actual, not-frozen-or-delivery pizza, so when I saw the huge slices, I thought it was mutated and that I’d turn into a Ninja Turtle,” Bing recalled. 

“Really?” Blue raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. Alas, I don’t think I did,” 

“I can tell, but thanks for assuring me,” 

Bing laughed. As that faded, a lull of silence came over them. 

“You know,” Blue offered. “my brothers were very insistent that this was a date,” 

Bing choked on his drink, followed by an immense coughing fit. 

“Are you alright?” Blue asked, handing him a napkin because Bing was coughing into his hand. 

“Fine!” Bing said between coughs, taking the napkin. “I’m fine, I’m fine,  _ ahem  _ ” He took a breath. “I’m so fine,” 

“Are you sure? You may be sick,” 

“Nah, nah, just uh, drinking too fast,” 

“Oh. Well, be careful,” 

“And here I thought you didn’t care,” 

“Not much,” 

“But brothers? I didn’t know you had brothers,” Bing managed to grasp on that thought from the blaring alarms that were his brain. 

“Oh, yes. Three of them. We’re quadruplets, actually,” 

“Woah, really?” Now his brain had something else to focus on. “That’s cool!” 

Blue shrugged. “It’s annoying, mostly,” 

“I dunno, seems fun. Always have someone to talk to,” 

“I’m assuming you’re an only child, then,” 

“Maybe a little,” 

“You can’t be ‘a little’ of an only child,” 

“So, what are their names? Pink, Green?” 

“Ha ha,” Blue deadpanned. “Blue’s not my actual name,” 

Bing shifted in his seat. “Oh?” 

Blue rolled his eyes. “My mom really liked the whole ‘similar names’ thing. We all have –ver names. I’m not a fan,” 

“What’s yours?” 

“If I tell you I feel like you’ll exclusively call me by that name,” 

“I won’t! M'just curious,” 

“I’m not telling you,” 

Bing pouted dramatically. Blue ignored him. 

“So, blue’s your favorite color then?” Bing asked. 

“No. Periwinkle, actually. Pastel indigo. I can’t say that periwinkle has the same ring as blue, though,” 

“I think Periwinkle is a Tinkerbell fairy,” Bing noted. 

Blue stared at him. “...thank you,” 

“I’m here all week,” 

“I like you,“ Blue said. 

Bing nearly choked again, but simply said “Oh?” 

“You are annoying, certainly, but fun to banter with,” Blue hummed. “I believe we have a nice rapport,” 

“Oh. Thanks,” Bing wasn’t sure exactly what that meant but it seemed to be a compliment. 

“Yes,” Blue tried to retrace his train of thought. He was saying something before- 

“What if I try to guess your name?” Bing asked. 

“What? Oh, I suppose you can try,” 

“Carver,” 

“No,” 

“Denver,” 

“No,” 

“Oliver,” 

“That’s one of my brother’s names. Your only hint is that it’s not Oliver, Clover, or Rover,” 

Bing nodded and sipped his drink as he thought. 

“Xavier?” 

“Even if you get it right, I won’t tell,” 

“It’s Xavier, isn’t it?” 

“Maybe, maybe not,” 

“You’ve gotta tell me, s’not fair otherwise,” 

“Who said I was fair?” 

“C’mon, man, be a good sport. Xavier, yes or no?” 

Blue drank his Sprite silently. 

“See, so it’s Xavier because if it wasn’t, you’d’ve said no,” 

“Good deduction,” 

“So, your name’s Xavier?” 

“Not to you, it isn’t,” 

“I get that,” Bing nodded. “But can I ask a question?” 

“Have you asked permission before?” 

“See, that there? That’s not an answer,” 

“Sure,” 

“You just don’t like your name because of the, like, ending alliteration?” 

“Consonance,” 

“Yeah, that,” 

“Partially,” Blue said simply. He drank from his drink for certainly longer than was necessary before continuing. “It is also the fact that the name is spelled differently than expected for said consonance. X-A-I-V-E-R, which would technically make the name pronounced zay-ver, however, it’s still pronounced ex-ay-vier,” 

“So, you ditched it because it was factually incorrect?” 

“Precisely,” 

Bing laughed. “I haven’t spoken to you for maybe a few hours and that already seems like something you’d do,” 

“I’m glad to have such an impression on you,” 

Bing nodded as the waiter approached with their food and a “Y’all enjoy,” 

They ate with little discussion, as neither were necessarily making an effort, and they were soon both finished. The waiter gave the check and Bing took it, looked it over, and placed his debit card in the black leather notebook. He handed it back to the waiter and he walked away. 

“Did you put in a tip?” Blue asked, drinking the last of his Sprite. 

“’ Course I did, I’m not an animal,” Bing responded. “25%,” He said, doing the ‘ok’ thing with his fingers. 

“Look out for Mr. Moneybags,” Blue said with a slight smile. Bing smiled wider. 

“Is that the first actual joke you’ve told me?” He asked. Blue quirked an eyebrow. “Like, you’re funny, but you have a very dry, like, deliberate type humor. That’s the first lame joke you’ve used,” 

“Thank you,” Blue said sardonically. 

“Nonono, not like that, I mean-” 

“I know what you mean, it’s fine,” Blue said, putting a hand up to quiet Bing. “I suppose I’m adapting to your humor,” 

“Bit late for that, huh?” Said Bing, standing up when the waiter handed him his card. Blue looked at him, draping his jacket over his forearm. 

“What do you mean?” He asked once they were outside. 

“Huh?” Bing turned to him. “Oh, well, I mean, what are the odds we’ll, like, ever see each other again?” 

“Ah,” Blue nodded. 

“I mean, yanno, unless you want to,” Bing added hastily. 

Blue paused. “I don’t think I’d be... entirely opposed to the idea,” He said eventually. 

Bing smiled. “Really?” Then he cleared his throat and said slightly quieter, “I’d, uh, like that too,” 

Blue nodded. They both stood there. Then Bing physically jumped as he got an idea. 

“I- hold on-” He dug around his pockets and pulled out a small notebook with a pen in the spirals. He scribbled something quickly and near illegibly. He tore it out and handed it to Blue. “Here’s- in case you want to- It's- it's my number,” He said nervously. 

Blue took it and folded it carefully, putting it in his front pocket. He smiled. 

“I’ll text you,” He said. 

“Okay,” 

“I’ll talk to you later, then,” 

“Right. Okay. See you,” Bing smiled.

“See you,” Blue smiled back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two personally broke into my heart and stole all my uwus  
> 


	3. The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue near finalizes his secret project.

Blue walked into his house, avoided his siblings, and made his way to his bedroom. He went into his walk-in closet and shut the door carefully. He turned. 

There it was. 

At one point it was creepy, but Blue’d gotten used to it. 

He walked over to the small desk to the side of it and opened the book to double-check his work. Of course, they’d neglected to tell him that all the original author’s notes were all in Russian, but he only needed a few chapters to finalize the design, so he worked them out. 

He nodded to himself. Everything looked good. He turned to his laptop and opened some specially made programs, connecting one side of a USB cable to the side of it and another into the inside of its synthetic wrist. 

**> execute_activation_v.0.12 **

**> verbal_functions (true) **

**Executing...**

Blue stared at his screen with anticipation. He had no personal stakes in whether or not it worked properly- well, give or take a few tens of thousands of dollars in payment- but when you’ve worked on anything long enough, you always hope it will work. 

**Executed.**

“Hello,” 

Blue jumped. He turned around. It was staring straight ahead, it’s bright-blue eyes glowing with activation. Blue almost smiled. Then he didn’t. 

“Android, repeat,” 

“Hello,” 

Blue hummed in annoyance. There was a slight, near-unnoticeable stutter and echo. “Vocal ticks,” he mumbled. On a post-it note pad, he scribbled something. “Suppose it doesn’t matter, have to re-write all the vocals anyways- Android, sample statement,” 

“The quick brown fox jumped over the la-” 

“Android, stop,” It halted. Blue wrote something else, displeased. 

“Android, list objective,” 

“Primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. S-” 

“Android, stop. More vocal ticks,” Blue grumbled. “Android, attempt a verbal functions reboot,” 

“Yes sir, Mr. Watson,” 

“Android, do not scan humans unless instructed to do so,” 

“My apolo-” It cut out. Blue turned to his laptop. 

**verbal_functions rebooting...**

**Rebooted.**

“-gies” It said. Blue nodded. 

“Android, sample statement,” 

“The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog,” The ticks were gone. Blue nodded again. 

“That’s one problem solved,” He said quietly. A chime came from his laptop. Nixon Baltimore was calling. Blue scoffed and switched to the Chrome tab. He answered. He nearly jumped when the head of Robotics Research appeared on his screen. If he’d been paying attention, he’d have noticed it was a video call. 

“Watson!” He barked. 

“Baltimore,” Blue replied, unaffected. 

“You’re still working on that thing?” 

“Would you rather me not? I’d be more than happy than throw it out of my life,” 

“Look, kid, we’re in trouble-” 

“Ethical, I’m assuming,” 

“- because we have a copycat,” 

Blue didn’t say anything. He didn’t really care. 

“I know you don’t care about the company, Watson, but I do,” 

“Google has a steady income anyways. Why waste your money so some college kid can build you a robot?” 

“Don’t get humble, kid, you know you’re worth more than that. And this android’s gonna be worth more than you and anyone you’ve ever met. And the point is that we’ve got someone in our department leaking our research. Bing’s already finished their prototype!” 

“Bing?” Blue asked. Then he mentally slapped himself. _The company, you idiot, the company._ “Oh, right. Yes, well, I’ve informed you previously of the set-back that occurred. Also, my prototype is near-complete as well,” 

“Near? Near isn’t good enough!” 

“Just some vocal synthesizers, Baltimore. So that it sounds more human. Insofar, it sounds exactly as you’d expect,” 

“What do you mean?” 

Blue turned slightly. “Android, speak,” 

“What would you like me to say?” It replied. Baltimore jumped. 

“It’s on? Why didn’t you tell me? Let me see it,” 

Blue angled the top of his laptop so that his superior could see the android. He let out a low whistle. 

“I still don’t see why I was required to model it after myself,” Blue said, looking at it as well. “Myself, as opposed to someone even moderately attractive,” 

“Accuracy, kid, accuracy. We can’t have it looking uncanny, no-one wants uncanny. Don’t be so down on yourself, either. What can it do?” 

“Everything you asked of me. Speak, obey simple commands. I haven’t tested out movement recently, but the hardware hasn’t changed, so it should still be fine,” 

Baltimore nodded. “And how do I know it ain’t just some chat bot?” 

Blue turned at him and glared. “Android, list all legal charges against Doctor Nixon J. Baltimore, including hidden ones,” 

“Wuh-” 

“Doctor Nixon J. Baltimore of Google’s Robotics Research Center is charged with 4 counts of bribery, 2 counts of malpractice, 3 counts of blackmail, 1-” 

“Wh- Stop it, Watson, stop it!” 

“Android, stop,” 

Maybe it was projection, but Blue thought the android almost looked pleased. 

“Fine, good job, well done,” Baltimore said stuntedly, face still red. “Does it have a name?” 

“A name?” Blue replied, totally lost. 

“Yes, Watson, a name, come on,” 

“Uh, no? It’s Android, as far as it’s concerned,” 

“I don’t understand the comm-” The robot started. 

“Not you, shut up,” Blue waved it away. 

“Make it respond to Google. Pitch meeting had an idea to make it as much like Google Home as possible. You said hardware’s done?” 

“Yes, it is,” 

“Someone’ll come and get it. Work on that vocal thing you mentioned,” 

He ended the call. Blue, who’d been standing due to the lack of space for a chair in the closet, sunk down onto the floor, back landing heavily against the android’s shins. Whatever, it didn’t necessarily mind, and the motors and valves made its legs warm anyways. 

“I am impelled to ask if you are alright, sir,” said the android when Blue hadn’t moved for a while. He was tired. 

“What? Oh yes, thank you,” 

“You need not thank me. I am but a machine,” 

“I didn’t mean to. I’m out of it right now. Guess that shows, I’m talking to a robot,” 

The android didn’t respond. 

“Android, you now respond to Google, understood?” 

“You would like to change the way I am addressed?” 

“To Google, yes,” 

“I understand,” 

“Good,” 

Blue still didn’t move and sat there staring at the wall. He wasn’t even necessarily thinking. Occasionally, a thought would surface, but even those were mostly empty. He was probably on the verge of falling asleep when he heard his name from the living room. 

“Blue, who’s Bing?” Asked Rover excitedly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an abrupt mood shift ^^"""  
> Sorry it's short! Orginally this and chapter 4 were one chapter, but the content was just a bit jumpy.  
> Nixon Baltimore was supposed to just be mentioned, but my friend told me his name gave off "Cave Johnson vibes", so I had to write him, at least a little bit.  
> Don't mind if the programming stuff is a little wack. Sorry computer engineers, the extent of my coding knowledge is from minecraft commands.


	4. Texting Bing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue finally ends up texting Bing.

“Blue, who’s Bing?” Asked Rover excitedly.

Blue sighed and managed to push himself up.

“Android, shut down. Google, whatever,”

Google shut down. Blue walked into the living room, needlessly adjusting his glasses.

“What?” He asked. Oliver and Rover were smiling at each other and Rover was holding something. They looked up at him and smiled more.

“Found this in the key basket. ‘Bing’s number, smiley face,’ and then a phone number,” Rover said, holding out a piece of paper. Blue squinted at it uncomprehendingly and then swiped at it when he realized what it was. Rover raised it above his head.

“Give it. Rover Jasper Watson, give that to me right now,” Blue demanded. Rover just laughed.

“Who’s Bing?” Oliver asked. “S’he your social engagement partner?” Blue flushed and Rover just laughed more.

“Give it! Ro, I’m serious,” Blue said, trying to grab at it. Rover lowered it to him.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Rover said as Blue seized the paper. “But come on. Ya’gotta tell us,”

“No, I ‘gotta’ text him. I totally forgot,”

Oliver and Rover ‘aww’ed half-mockingly. Blue rolled his eyes and walked back into his room. He flopped down onto his bed and pulled out his phone. He shot a text to Bing’s number and waited.

_Ping._

“Oop, hang on, man,” Bing said into his headset, pausing the game. The person on the other side groaned good-naturedly.

“Dude, are you gonna pause _every time_ you get a text?” He asked. “Because if you are, I am _going_ to riot,”

“I’m expecting something, chill,” Bing replied, fetching his phone from his back pocket. He had a text notification on the lock screen from an unknown number.

“ _Hello, is this Bing Voltan? It’s Blue,_ ” It read.

Bing smiled.

“Sorry, man, I’ve gotta go,”

“Aw, what?”

“Can’t text and game. Ciao,”

“Alright, bye,”

_Beep._

Bing switched tabs and played some YouTube videos in the background as he texted back-

“ _who else? :-)_ ”

Blue woke up the next morning groggily, pushing up his glasses to rub his eyes as he yawned. He blinked a few times before furrowing his brow. He _never_ wore his glasses to bed. Looking down, he was still in the clothes he’d worn out with Bing the day before.

“Mmh,” He said simply. He supposed he’d fallen asleep early. He turned on his phone to check the time.

**6 missed messages**

It was Bing. He went to their chat history- already the longest in his phone- and saw them.

11:39 PM

“ _anyways yea sorry for rambling but my point is he's stupid op_ ”

11:41 PM

“ _hello?_ ”

11:45 PM

“ _alright so either youre ignoring me, your phone died, or youre asleep_ ”

“ _since you plugged in your phone earlier and seem to like me im gonna go with the third one_ ”

“ _haha imagine needing sleep_ ”

“ _sweet dreams_ ”

Blue smiled tenderly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, it's so short. Remember that this and chapter 3 were supposed to be one chapter ^^". Consider this a mini-chapter, if you will.  
> (oh yea btw the guy bing's gaming with is totally chase but i didn't wanna be to name-dropy)


	5. Robots and Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bing's boss checks in on his work, too.

Bing stuffed his skateboard into his bookbag and then shuffled it, so it was actually on his back. He unlocked his apartment door, walked in, dropped his bookbag on the floor, and kicked the door closed.

He took out his phone and checked it. He had a text.

“Sorry, I suppose I was tired” It was from Blue.

“nah youre fine. just got home from class” He shot back.

He flicked on the light- well, it was only marginally a light. It was an uncovered lamp on the floor- and looked about. He picked up some paper plates on his way to the kitchen and threw them away. Pouring himself a bowl of cereal, he looked into the living room. It was pretty messy. He scratched his neck. He ought to clean it. He ate his cereal, leaning against the wall, and managed to muster enough willpower to pick up.

He was about halfway done when his laptop on the counter dinged. He knew the noise meant a video call and assumed it was one of his online friends, so he answered it and turned it towards the living room, so they’d be able to see him.

“Hello, Voltan,” He heard coolly. He looked up. It was Eva Romero. His boss, kinda. For now, anyway.

“Oh. Romero, hey,” He addressed. He picked up some cans to throw away.

“Voltan, I called you for a reason,” She said, with her omnipresent tone of annoyance.

“Yeah, I figured. I’m cleaning, hold on,”

“Hold on? Mister Voltan, you cannot tell me to hold on, I am your superior,”

Bing snorted off-camera. “Whaddya gonna do? Fire me?”

“Mister Voltan,”

“Seriously, just gimme a sec,”

She sighed. Bing threw away the cans. Then he stood in front of the screen.

“What’s up?”

“Simmons told me you finished your prototype,”

“Yeah,”

“I would like to see it,”

“Alright,” Bing huffed. She had officially knocked him out of his cleaning mood. “Hang on,” Bing walked to his bedroom.

“It normally stays in your living room, does it not?” Romero asked.

“He- It did,” Bing called back. “Then someone almost saw it. Well, I mean, he probably didn’t, but better safe than sorry or whatever,”

“That would be a major breach of our security, Mister Voltan,”

“Wild,” Bing said, pulling the android in front of the camera.

“Is it turned off?”

“Yeah. Dude, batteries for these things are crazy expensive,”

“Turn it on, please,”

“Really?” He blurted out. He shook his head. “Right, yeah, one sec,” Bing walked into his room, then walked back on screen with something in his hand. He plugged a flash drive into the back of the android’s neck. He pressed a button and it chimed. Bing stepped back, looking at his laptop. Romero was not impressed.

 _‘Yet,’_ Bing thought proudly.

The android’s head raised, and its eyes flickered open. After a moment, it smiled. Bing smiled in response. He turned to Romero.

“There he is,” He said.

“Can it speak?”

“Yeah,” Bing and the android said at the same time. They looked at each other.

“Tell it to say something,” Romero said.

“Tell him yourself. Made some tweaks to the suggested software. He can talk on his own,”

“Don’t personify it. Say a sample phrase,” She directed at the droid.

“Like what?” The android asked.

“Like, ‘Oak is strong and also gives shade,’” Bing supplied.

“Oak is strong and also gives shade,”

Bing gave the android a thumbs up. Romero nodded, but then squinted at it.

“What’s wrong with its eyes?”

Bing looked at the android’s face. Its eyes messed up again. Bing had gone through a handful of different eye concepts to fix the androids hardware issue- which Bing humanizingly called near-sightedness- including the most recent attempt, which consisted of, more or less, a camera lens with a projected, eye-resembling coating over top. The sclera had disappeared, leaving the iris, pupil, and a glorified camera shutter. The android shifted and looked down shamefully.

“I’ve been working with his eyes. Some of his optics hardware is faulty- and that’s wicked expensive to fix-, so I’ve had to tweak his oculars a bit.” Bing explained. “It’s... experimental,”

“That’s a polite way of saying not working,” Romero said, unamused.

“It’s working! It... will work,” Bing murmured “Eventually,” Then, with the emotional consistency of a tennis ball, he perked up. “Hey, how ‘bout this?” He fished his sunglasses out of his- sleeveless- hoodie pocket and put them on the android with a bright grin. “Boom. Ya’can’t even tell,”

Romero was not entertained.

“Your robot will be collected once you have fixed its eyes. Good day, Voltan,” She ended the call.

“Yeah, Godspeed,” Bing mumbled sarcastically, smile falling.

“I’m sorry I’m causing you trouble,” The android said.

“What?" Bing looked at it "Nah, nah, you’re doing great! It’s all my fault, dude. I shoulda gotten it right the first time,”

The android smiled lightly. “Okay... dude,”

Bing’s face brightened immensely. He laughed and lightly punched it in the arm. “Aw, yeah! Keep talking like that and people won’t be able to tell us apart,”

The android laughed. Bing had a smile the size of football fields.

After a moment, Bing said “Alright, I gotta shut you down. That okay?”

“Eh, actually-” The android shifted again. Bing looked at it curiously. “I- I’ve been looking into androids- or, their representation in popular media, and...” It looked at Bing anxiously. “I’m not normal, am I?”

Bing looked bewildered “Huh? What makes you say that?” He asked.

“I- I shouldn’t feel things, should I? I’m too... human,” The android said, looking positively antsy.

“Oh. Well, that book I used to help make you- I mentioned it to you, I think. It- you know- it recommended that if I _were_ to build you the way I did, I’d have to, like, code in- you know- apathy,” Bing explained. “But... but I thought ‘why?’ You have as much of a right to emotions as I do. And- and if they’re looking for human-like, you know,”

“Oh. Okay,”

Bing nodded. He looked at it for a moment. “Would you rather not have emotions?” He asked. The android immediately shook its head.

“No, no, I’d prefer to... have them. Yeah,”

Bing smiled. “Okay, cool,” To lighten the mood, he added “Those glasses look nice on you. Maybe you should keep ‘em,”

The android laughed. It shut itself off. Bing smiled and led it back into his bedroom, its servos moving automatically, making for a very minimal effort on Bing’s part. He nodded to himself and stood there, looking at it. Him? Bing wondered about the android’s future, how it would develop, and considered, for the first time, if he actually wanted to send it to his employers. He thought about how they might treat it. As much as he wanted to think it would be given respect, he knew it wouldn’t.

It could be happy. Would it be happy there?

His phone chimed. He took it out and saw a text from Blue. He smiled and wandered over to his workbench, covered mostly in many spherical, vaguely eye-resembling instruments.

He was being ridiculous, anyways. He had to give it to the company. Who knows if he even had a choice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bing finish cleaning your gosh darn house  
> Hope you enjoyed it, darlings!  
> Leave feedback please! Positive or negative (and constructive), It's all appreciated.  
> Have a wonderful day!  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry dears, but this work is officially on hold until I get the motivation to continue it (Translation: until I get over my Portal obsession and am violently thrown back into the egos fandom)  
> Maybe if you yell at me enough it'll work ^^"


End file.
